Five Lessons Political Wife Life Taught Me :: Part 2

Alright, have you stretched your legs? Do you have your favorite sip by your side?

Good! Get settled and take a deep breath, bc this second blog is longer than the first. So let’s get right to it.

Lesson Three: Stay in your Lane aka Grow Your Grass Green

(I couldn’t choose which analogy I liked better–stay in your own lane or the grass is greener, so I’m merging them–HA!) 

Once I accepted the fact that the opposing slate was gonna hate no matter what the reason, I realized I couldn’t let my emotions, my thoughts, or my day be dictated by their actions. I needed to let go of what I couldn’t control. I needed to stay in my lane.

For me that meant putting my energy towards positivity and leading with love (see part one). It also meant looking at my husband, understanding what he stood for, and spreading that message. The message he believed in, which is one I was bought into also.

It was so easy to look over the fence at the other slate’s grass and doubt myself, or rather, doubt Glenn’s success and the community’s voice.

“Their signs are bigger and in more places.” “They have more funding.” etc. etc.

I compared everything they were doing against what Glenn’s slate was doing and in reality all that did was grow weeds in my own grass. Eventually, I made the choice to pull up those weeds of distraction and sow better seeds. 

I chose to mind my own business. The only person I needed to worry about was me. Well… and Glenn too, and our family, but you know what I’m saying. 

We let the noisiness of others drown out our purpose and detract from our focus. We look at the other cars zooming past us on the freeway, seeming to arrive at their destination first. Our humanity screams out, “No! I can’t be in the slow lane! I have somewhere to be too!” And so we change lanes. But how many times have you gotten into the next lane while driving only to regret it five seconds later.

Nah. Stay in your lane. Stop looking over the fence. Grow your own grass so green that you have little cause to look for over the fence of discontent.

Lesson 4: Have Boundaries when Backing

Oh man, this one hit me hard. 

Lemme be real: I may have written a course and taught groups about boundaries, but I don’t have it all figured out. 

No one does! 

Our boundaries change as our circumstances do.

The key with boundary-setting is anticipating what you might need as those circumstances change and communicating those needs as soon as possible. 

Did I do this during our 99-day sprint? Absolutely NOT!

I jumped in head-first not even giving a second thought to how I’d need to exercise my “yes” or “no.”

This bit in the butt, of course. 

I thought being a political wife to Glenn–wait, no… I thought being a political partner with Glenn meant that I needed to have my hands in all the events, knock on all the doors, oversee all his social media, do the most on MY social media, kiss all the babies, etc. etc. I thought it also meant defending him at all costs and at all times. Isn’t that what partners do? I’m in it to win it. 

Oh, how wrong I was… trying to be all the things to Glenn while trying to do all the things was the worst use of my energy. It made me resentful, tired, petty, and unclear in times when I needed to show up the most. 

We were about halfway through the campaign when I pulled Glenn aside and said, “Hey, I’ve got this political wife thing all wrong. Here’s what I really need to be doing.” 

Read those sentences again. 

I didn’t pull Glenn aside and say, “You-you-you.” I said, “Me-me-me.” I was putting unhealthy and unrealistic expectations on myself. Glenn wasn’t asking me to be a super woman. In truth, all he asked of me was permission to do the race. 

I misunderstood the assignment. I never got real with myself. I never asked myself: “Hannah, how can you realistically show up for your husband, while honoring all the commitments already on your plate?”

I needed to have that convo with myself. We all need to have that convo with ourselves when our circumstances change and we aren’t quite sure what the change will ask of us, whether we are supporting a loved one or not. We need to be watching and observing our energy. We learn as we go. And once we get an inkling of what is needed, we draw a boundary. Knowing that in so doing, we will have our person’s back all the more because we’ve honored ourselves first.

Lesson Five: Christian Nationalism isn’t Christian at ALL! 😮

Oi. My final lesson.

Although I did entertain the idea that I could just have four points, I kept feeling like there was a fifth lesson to share. I was out for a long walk the DAY OF the election… trying to walk off my anxieties… honestly, I was prayer-walking. And as I was, this is what came to me for my fifth lesson.

‘Christian Nationalism’ isn’t Christian AT ALL.

Oh man, did it make me cringe, but I knew I had to share it. In fact, it was brewing inside me for quite some time (thank you, Adam Rose). Because what I haven’t stated plainly yet in this blog is that Glenn’s opponents were supported by ‘Christian’ Nationalists and that simply appalled me.

Before I continue, I want to say this to my believing brethren reading this: 1) I can’t see anyone’s heart, therefore I can’t judge their individual relationship to God. When I reference ‘Christian’ Nationalism, please know I’m referring to a worldview, not a person’s heart. I take issue with the -ism, not the individual. 2) When I meet individuals who subscribe to this way of thinking, I meet them where they are at and treat them how I would like to be treated: with kindness, curiosity, and respect. I model to them what I would like in return. 3) I know that God doesn’t need me to defend Him. He is a mighty God and can defend Himself. And yet I am called to be His witness. We see God call people on earth to bear testimony to His truth. I’m not claiming to be a Moses or an Isaiah. I don’t have total insight into His voice or His plans. But I am a girl who has spent many years of her life studying His Word intently for hours on end, trying to live into it as best as I can.

And as an image-bearer of Christ, a follower of The Way, I am disgusted and insulted at the notion of so-called ‘Christian’ nationalism. It’s an oxymoron. A.K.A. inherently contradictory. 

If we read the Bible without an agenda of our own and instead look for God’s agenda, we would see its narrative of diversity and inclusion, lifting up the marginalized, caring for those who can’t care for themselves, giving other people opportunity, and loving our neighbors as ourselves. This is a common thread from Genesis to Revelation.

What ‘Christian’ Nationalists actually ascribe to is merely a cultural Christianity. Christianity in name only, or should I say religion only, versus actual relationship with God. It’s the relationship that produces true faith and Christian living.

‘Christian’ Nationalism is Thomas Jefferson’s version of Christianity, which cuts out passages of the Bible they don’t like. It’s the same version of Christianity that justified the American slaver trade. It’s the same Christianity that uses people of color and other marginalized groups for their own ends. 

No! 

We know from several passages in Scripture such behavior disgusts God. It’s not his true heart for people. And if it was, why would the new earth have every tribe, nation, tongue, and people lifting up His praises in their own unique languages?! (Rev. 7:9)

I’m tired of this group hijacking the Christian name and making it a foul thing in the mouth of those who don’t identify as such. But I’m not gonna stand by it any longer. I’m proud to love Jesus. I’m proud of what He stands for and represents. 

And for the non-Christian reading this, let me tell you what that truly is.

Christ asks for an allegiance all His own. He isn’t partisan. He is inclusive. He does ask for sacrifice. He has an ideal formula for life in the world, but He is not a hateful abuser who segregates, disparages, and rejects. He is God that includes, lifts up, and invites. This is the God of the Bible. God has his own agenda, but it’s not one that storms the Nation’s Capitol or ostracizes the LGBTQIA+ community. 

When Jesus came, we can see how he handled the governments of the world during his time. He didn’t storm Rome, though many wished he would. He went to those in need, he fed those who were hungry, he loved those who were outcast, and he showed a better way to live. His way (Matthew 5-7).

Christian Nationalism is not God’s way. 

I look to Colossians 3:12 for guidance. “Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.”

Followers of Christ, we need to cover ourselves with the actions and attitudes that look like Christ: tenderhearted compassion, humility, and patience.. We look to Jesus. The perfector and designer of our faith. And our faith is lived out in real time and in real relationships with people who may not look like or think like us. Even if you don’t agree with your neighbor, our job isn’t to hate or judge them. Who are we to hate or judge in the first place when we have so many of our own shortcomings to manage.? Again, we need to stay in our lane! Our call is to LOVE God and LOVE our neighbor as ourselves. And that’s easy! Everyone understands the language of love. It’s part of our human design. 

Yes, we need believers in office. And this is one of the reasons I am so glad and proud that my Glenn is one of them! But if believers don’t dominate every single political office in every single town across the United States, that’s okay. (In fact, we know it won’t be like that when Christ comes back). Christian nationalists are too short-sided. They look to bring “God’s ways” to earth by their own strength and limited understanding, and seek to legislate their singular view. Yet the Tower of Babel teaches Christians we can’t create God’s kingdom  by our human hands. We can participate with Him, but it’s of His design alone.

I contend, dear reader, some of you Christian, some of you not, that ‘Christian’ Nationalists contend, they don’t understand God at all. They don’t see his heart. Maybe because in some weird way, they fear him too, and so they make him out to be a tyrant when He is anything but. Perhaps they live in a world where faith is won by performance instead of the perfect act of grace done on the cross. I don’t know? Again, I can’t see their hearts. 

But I do know those in the throes of this poisonous ideology are exalting a false god. ... Because if they really knew His heart, they wouldn’t display so much hate-driven-by-fear. 

God is not like humans. He is not petty. He’s not threatened. He loves more than we could ever know and He forgives more than we could ever know. That is His testimony, which is ultimately the testimony of outrageous love.

Alright, I’m Landing This Plane.

I applaud you, reader, for hanging with me through this all. HA! 

It’s a lot. But in all honesty, the last 99 days were A LOT.

After Glenn’s campaign party and celebrations, we got home a little after midnight and he said, “So for my next campaign…”

To which I promptly cut him off and said, “Can we just enjoy this moment before we talk about your next campaign?” 

But for his next campaign, I think I will be all the more prepared, and for that, I’m incredibly grateful. 

This was such a unique experience. Glenn has always supported my dreams and I’ve always told myself that I will return the favor. Now that I’ve got these five lessons under my belt, I feel stronger for the next round whenver that comes.

But for now, we are resting and regrouping. We are just enjoying the moment. 

Let me know what lesson resonated with you most! 

Xo,

Hannah ::